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Fall Reflection


I can't lie, it's been a hard year. That’s why it’s been a while since my last update. I spent much of 2014 and the first half of 2015 working... A LOT. Some weeks I clocked more than 60 hours working 4 part time jobs. Since the end of May I've been traveling (read: moving) between Boston and Fort Collins, it's felt like a never-ending roadtrip - two weeks in FoCo, two months in Boston, three weeks in FoCo, one week in Boston, three weeks in my hometown with the family in Homer, NY, three weeks in Newburyport, MA. But I can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel: onOctober 8th, all of my belongings will be in one place: my new home in Fort Collins, CO (though I'm sure it will be some time before all of those things are all out of boxes). Whew!

I remember my therapist asking me if I had any goals or New Year resolutions. It was the beginning of 2014, and I had just come off of an incredibly successful music year. I released an EP, performed at the Kerrville Folk Festival, the Falcon Ridge Folk Festival, the CTFolk Festival and various venues in 17 other states, was awarded a grant from Club Passim to help queer youth feel more comfortable in their skin and help teach their classmates to be good allies... and the list goes on. My goal for 2014, I announced with great intention, was to work no more than 20 hours per week at a non-music related job. Obviously, I failed. Miserably.

During this past week, I've been able to slow down a bit. I'm looking back on the year, evaluating what I've accomplished and making some plans for the future.

It's the end of September, and I've only played 11 shows this year. It's easy for me to be hard on myself for not having spent more time booking gigs, but when it comes down to it, a lot has happened this year and the entire time it's felt like my world was spinning so fast it might just spin off of its axis.

I've decided that I'm going to use the move to Fort Collins as a ‘reset button’. Reset my focus. Reset my resolve. Reset my posture. Reset my ideas around financial stability and recognize that I might not need to work four jobs in order to feel stable anymore. I want to reframe my attitudes that attribute to negative thinking. You know, that nagging voice inside that says 'you're not good enough' or 'you're not working hard enough’.

I'm not in Fort Collins yet, but I think it's time to start that reframing. So here it is. This is what I've accomplished over the past year: I've worked a bunch, paid off a boat load of debt, moved half way across the country, released a new EP, wrote half a dozen new songs and played 11 shows in New England, including a co-bill at the legendary Club Passim.

Oh, and I quit two part time jobs.


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Bethel Steele

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